The Mauve Hand - The Homosexual Agenda Invades Soap Operas

As if As the World Turns didn't give us enough to cringe about, my friends at the American Family Association - the noted defender of free speech for white evangelical Christians - inform me that they have gone so far as to show a gay couple in an open, committed relationship:

The American Family Association is calling on Procter & Gamble to adopt a neutrality policy on controversial issues, especially when it comes to pushing the homosexual agenda on network television.

Procter & Gamble (P&G) owns the long-running soap opera As the World Turns, which features a fictional romance between two young men. In fact, last August the CBS daytime soap became the first to feature two homosexual men kissing.

The Homosexual Agenda is more than a witty name to give your persona in City of Villains. It is a reality that has dominated our nation's discourse and turned this Judeo-Christian nation away from the one true God (the one that Supports Our Troops). Luckily they know just how to respond:

"What Procter & Gamble has done by not having a neutrality policy on any controversial issue [is] they've now put themselves in the middle of this battle between homosexual activists and those who aspire to more traditional family values -- especially on network TV in the public forum," argues Sharp.

The AFA spokesman is hopeful P&G will simply opt not to get involved in controversial topics, such as a homosexual kiss on television, and adopt a policy toward that end. But "the best thing that they could do," he suggests, "is to go ahead and drop these two characters [from the show]."

I will give a great, heaving "Amen!" to that, sister. What many Americans fail to realize is that "neutrality" towards a controversial social issue does not mean "approaching an issue with the intent of dismantling stereotypes and prompting discussion", but means "abhorring the practice completely and damning all who think otherwise."

Americans should contact P&G and express their outrage at this blatant support of the homosexual lifestyle. How can we as a nation conduct a reasonable, rational discussion on gay rights when gays are constantly being flaunted in soap operas as "human beings" who "express genuine emotions" or otherwise attempt to garner our sympathy? The audacity!

And if that wasn't enough, can you believe that they have managed to infiltrate Christian programming as well! Imagine my horror when I witnessed this debauchery:

"The contents don't squirt in your face?"

"A point at the top for ease of entry?"

"Just the right shape for the human mouth and curved towards the face?!"

I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it...